Hockey and Hogan

Well, well well. The wires have been burnin up. It’s a small, insignificant fact that a great many of the world’s pro wrestlers, old and new, currently reside in none other than Tampa. Throughout the week I’ve been receiving countless tasteless and totally uncalled for jabs about our beloved Flames on my voice mail.

It shouldn’t have come as any big surprise to me that the Lightning resurrected that old dinosau r, Hulk Hogan to help point out the way to their soggy ice! I can remember being in Tampa when nobody even knew what hockey was! But there was a time, a few years back, when I visited The Hulkster and he told me he was an avid Lightning fan with season tickets and that he and his son Nicholas never missed a game. So I can at least credit my old nemesis as not being someone who has merely jumped on the bandwagon. In truth I think his support can only help and anything that helps promote Canada’s gift to the world, hockey, in America, can only be a good thing!

Not to mention the super job his sixteen year old daughter Brooke has been doing singing both national anthems. I’m tempted to throw a Flames jersey on my pug Coombs and haul him out to center ice to sing - but I’m worried he might get some of the words wrong! He’s cute but not that cute! Interestingly enough, there are numerous transplanted Canadian wrestlers living in Tampa and I’m relieved to say that Chris Jericho has remained true to his Calgary heritage by backing the Flames. In fact Jericho, Chris Benoit, Edge and even Trish Stratus are backing the red and yellow all the way. Benoit, who is from Edmonton, told me how every scrap of Flames merchandise has been sold out all over Edmonton. I thought, my God, pretty soon cats will be sleeping with dogs!

But then I’ve had the likes of Brian Knobs of the notorious Nasty Boys confide in me that he’s been secretly coaching Cory Stillman, teaching him all those nasty little tricks that he used to try to use on me! But Andrew Ferrence did a nice job of ‘nastisizing’ him anyway!

Jim The Anvil Neidhart, a long time Tampa resident has no misgivings about backing the Flames, claiming that Chris Simon may in fact be one of his long lost brothers! In fact, the Anvil will be proud to be in attendance tonight wearing a signed Theo Fleury jersey that he’s been saving for just the right occasion.

I’m picturing it now, Hulk passing out Flintstones vitamins while Lecavalier and the rest of the Lightning are on their knees, hands clasped, saying their prayers as their best and only hope!

All I know is that the sight of The Hulkster peeling off one of his four sizes too small t- shirts just doesn’t move me and I think I know why! The Hulkster doesn’t look right in blue! Perhaps I need to remind him that the colors he wore as a wrestling champion were, of course, red and yellow ! My parting words to The Hulkster are, the LIghtning will be excellently executed!

Go Flames Go!